Disappointment with God
In our second year of marriage, Gigi and I were tested to what most young couples would consider the limit, and, perhaps, beyond. If ever we felt we had reason to shake our fists at God and walk away, that would have been the time. Gigi endured three consecutive early-term miscarriages, and I fumbled my way alongside having no idea what she was going through. I just knew she could not stay pregnant and was going through a kind of hell. And to compound matters, most of our friends were having babies. Mother’s Day became for her like salt-water poured on an open wound.
Early in the second year, she became pregnant a fourth time, and with the help of a specialist, a lot of prayer, and bed rest, she carried our first daughter to full term. On October 4,1985, she went to the hospital, and I was called to meet her there. But something did not feel right to her or me. Some ten to twelve hours later, she delivered a lifeless, baby girl. We were whatever word comes on the list after “devastated”. (For more details of the story see Chapter Three of my book, http://bit.ly/AMADWTAION)
That was the most critical intersection of raw emotions challenging faith we have experienced, and perhaps ever will, in terms of disappointment with God. Four babies withheld in two years and the emotional and physical toll it took on Gigi. I remember holding my daughter – already Home with the Lord – and crying out to the Him for help and hope. Help for my wife. Hope for both of us.
From minor setbacks to crushing defeats, our challenge is to keep disappointments from turning into disasters—that moment when faith fails and men walk away from God, angry, bitter, and defeated.
Forgiving God is one of the hardest things the human heart must do.
That statement sounds theologically off-base when you first read it because it is. Of course, the thought of us “forgiving God” for something He did is both theologically inaccurate and presumptuous. BUT it does reflect real, gut-level feelings for those of us honest enough to admit them when disappointments, beyond our control, burrow deep into our spirits.
When faith fails and circumstances leave us crippled or full of contempt, most of us direct our disappointment toward God. Two things invariably follow. The “Why” questions and the “blame game.” We see it every day from unbelievers and believers.
“Why did You let our child die? Why did ______ get cancer and die before his/her time? Why did You take away my job? Why did You let my husband/wife leave me? Why have you abandoned me?”
“Why” questions are only natural—our need for answers evokes great emotion and passion. The problem is God does not answer many of them to our satisfaction, if at all. What will you do? Blame the One Who does not defend Himself, and, in His providence, allowed Satan or someone to inflict something terrible on you or your family. So where are the answers we seek, some demand, to our compelling “why” questions?
God provided just two answers. The first, to the believer, is FAITH—the only cord that binds true believers to God through the singular, atoning work of Christ—His death on the Cross (blood) and His physical resurrection (life). Our faith, no matter how small at times or severely tested, is the glue. Faith is the victory!
“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” (1 John 5: 4 ESV)
When Christians understand even a small amount about God—Who He is, His love, and what He did for us in Christ, we can begin to view disappointments, regardless of the source, as opportunities to stretch our faith in God and take Him at His word. The words Jesus prayed in the Garden become our words. “Not my will, but Thine be done.” We will defer to the sovereignty of almighty, all-loving God and “lean not on our own understanding. And that requires FAITH!
The second answer is for those who blame God for everything that goes bad in their lives, yet, up to this point, have refused His every overture or call to know Him and receive His love Gift. In His unfathomable love, overcoming grace, and unfailing mercy, God sent His only Son as the answer to our terminal condition—sin. (John 3: 16)
My dear friend, can I invite you again to stop blaming God and consider His precious Gift of Life, Jesus, the only One Who can save you from yourself. No one suffered more or paid a greater price than Jesus—His life for yours. While it cost Him everything, it costs you nothing. Realize your great need, receive Jesus Christ, and be saved today.
The disappointments of life will not go away this side of Heaven. But, in Christ, you will have a Savior and Lord Who alone can comfort us in and through all circumstances and wipe away every tear. What are you waiting for?
PS – The picture in the lesson blog and FB post is one of Gigi, me, and our son, Trey, the fifth pregnancy fulfilled when we were told we would never have children. God had other plans!
Your desperate brother in Christ,
